ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
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I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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