i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize