I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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