i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize