bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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