I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the condom got lost in my hair
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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