I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize