i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
These tits shall not be calmed
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