I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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