That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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