Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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