he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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