I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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