that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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