Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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