i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize