I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
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I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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