he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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