I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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