Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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