Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize