So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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