suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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