was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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