I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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