So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize