There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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