Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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