yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
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Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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