you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The power of my boobs compel you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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