things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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