It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize