i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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