I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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