hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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