After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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