I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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