That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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