YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize