Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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