5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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