i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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