For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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