Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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