He kissed a someone with a penis
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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