If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize