At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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