I'm really into asian looking animals
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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