yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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