i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize